So this morning I brewed my coffee extra strong thinking “Man, I gotta check what May 12th holds” – that’s my kid’s graduation day next year. Leaned back in my squeaky office chair, wiped dust off the laptop, and fired up Chrome.
The Google Tango
Typed “Taurus horoscope May 12 2025” straight into search like always. First ten results? Total garbage. Clickbait sites screamed FREE PERSONALIZED READING!!! – yeah right, they just want your birth time to spam you later. Closed five tabs screaming “Your Luck Is Changing!” before finding anything decent.
Finally landed on one that looked halfway legit. Scrolled past two giant video ads that autoplayed sound – almost spilled coffee on my keyboard slamming mute. Got to the Taurus section after scrolling through three zodiac signs I didn’t care about. Typical Monday internet wrestling match.
Decoding Planet Gibberish
First paragraph hit me with “Venus trine your natal Jupiter in the 7th house activating karmic partnerships.” My reaction? Scoffed out loud. Who talks like that? Here’s how I translated it in my head:
- The moon’s position: Means chill vibes with family – told my wife “No arguments at graduation brunch!”
- Mercury retrograde warning: Double-check flight times twice. Aunt Karen always books wrong.
- Career boost mentioned: Emailed my boss about that project pitch I’ve hoarded for weeks.
Highlighted the practical bits in yellow – “favourable for financial decisions” got circled thick since we need new tires. Saved the page as PDF like I always do. My folder’s full of these dated predictions.
The Physical Ritual
Walked straight to my clunky printer behind the couch. Heard that familiar grinding noise as it spat out the pages. Stapled it to May 2025’s calendar block right below “ELLIE GRADUATION – 10AM”. Thumbtacked today’s horoscope beside last week’s on my corkboard wall. Seeing them yellow and faded months later? That’s the real magic.
Turned out today’s forecast wasn’t mystic guidance. Just a reminder to hug my kid tight before she walks that stage – planets or not.
