Okay, so this week’s career horoscope thing for Taurus popped up, right? Figured I’d actually try following it for once since promotions are like unicorns at my gig. Grabbed my phone during lunch break, scrolled past the memes, and actually read the damn thing.
My Big Taurus Plan
First off, it claimed Tuesday was the golden day to chat with higher-ups. Totally marked my calendar like some kinda wizard. Wore my lucky socks—the gray ones with coffee stains—and rehearsed my promotion pitch to the bathroom mirror for 15 minutes. Felt ridiculous but did it anyway.
Wednesday was supposed to be for “strategic networking”, whatever that means. Decided to fake it. Tried chatting up the quiet VP by the coffee machine. Spilled half my latte down his shoe trying to act casual. He just blinked and walked off. Guess astrology doesn’t cover clumsiness.
The “Best Day” Drama
Thursday was hyped up for major breakthroughs. Went full steam ahead:
- Dropped hints about my workload in the team meeting
- Emailed my boss the project numbers I’d saved since January
- Even stayed late reorganizing the supply closet (looked productive, right?)
Boss finally calls me in Friday afternoon. Heart’s pounding like a drum. He says… they’re restructuring the marketing team. My promotion’s “on hold indefinitely.” Basically means never. Offered me a free stress ball from the conference room box instead. Real useful.
Horoscope said “opportunity knocks this week.” Yeah, it knocked alright—knocked me right into next year’s budget freeze. Moral of the story? Trusting stars over skills gets you zip. But hey, at least my closet’s organized now.
