Woke up this morning feeling kinda sluggish, so I grabbed my phone and peeked at today’s Taurus horoscope while chugging coffee. Saw the headline about love and work tips for May 19th and thought “alright, let’s test drive this astrology stuff properly.”
Work Experiment
The horoscope said: “Collaborate instead of going solo”. Normally I hate bothering coworkers, but I forced myself to walk over to Sarah’s desk about that inventory report. Almost backed out twice ’cause her headphones were on, but waved like an idiot till she noticed. Showed her my messy spreadsheet.
- She spotted three data errors instantly
- Taught me a pivot table trick saving 2 hours
- Then dragged me to fix Mark’s printer jam
Ended up spending the whole morning fixing crap together. Boss even gave a “team player” nod at lunch. Never thought I’d say this but… thanks, horoscope?
Love Thing Attempt
The love part advised “express feelings simply”. My wife was stressing over bills when I got home. Instead of hiding in my man-cave like usual, I plopped on the couch and said “We’ll handle it together yeah?” while handing her chocolate. She looked shocked then teared up. Honestly felt like an awkward penguin.
Later she said: “That chocolate move was 10/10”. Who knew stale KitKats could score points? We ended up reorganizing the budget while eating takeout. Still hate numbers, but at least we laughed about overdraft fees.
Surprise Twist
Final Taurus tip mentioned “expect the unexpected”. Thought that was vague crap until my neighbor showed up at 10PM crying over her divorce. Normally I’d make excuses, but remembered the horoscope and offered tea. Two hours later we’re sitting on the porch with her ugly-crying into my last clean towel.
Turns out her ex stole her cat. We spent the night driving around checking alleys with tuna cans like total fools. Never found the damn cat but she seemed less wrecked afterwards. My feet hurt but whatever.
Moral of this mess? Horoscopes are probably just lucky guesses… but holy crap following random star advice made today actually interesting for once.
